Aaaand back to my personal time with my laptop and Blogger on the last day of the year!

No, as lonely and sad as it may sound, I really do enjoy spending some quality time on this. I'll most probably be reading this post again next year when I'm about to write a new entry for another new year, so trailing down the memory lane like this is an enjoyment. Nothing like cringing over your own letter to your future self, no. 

Speaking of which, I've just read my last year's entry and I actually find it heartwarming, looking at how enthusiastic I sounded and how eager I was to spend 2017 with love, hope, sunshine and all the other blessings showered on this land 😂 Also, I'm actually pretty surprised at my own writing. Like how did I even came up with those phrases and bombastic descriptions, the heck hahahha. 

I guess I'll sorta recap the major things that happened this year. It's my second year of studies, which has now also come to an end. The coming 2nd will make me a third year student. As cliché as it may sound, time really did pass by in just a blink of an eye. With every passing year, I find myself chasing aimlessly after time. And when I have got the time to pause, "where did all my time go?" I'll wonder.
*cue 时间都去哪儿啦～ 

I guess the mentality of me refusing to graduate so soon is still intact. Why you ask. To spell out the facts, I'm afraid and spoiled. Graduating to me isn't just a toast goodbye to brain torture during exam periods, a farewell to friends where you spent shit tonnes of time with throughout your degree wondering when will we  ever meet again, nor just receiving a paper that certifies your are now eligible to be a slave to the society; it comes with a great deal of responsibilities and independence. 

Growing up in the asian culture, especially in a family that spoiled me to be such a doting princess to her daddy, I've escaped countless reality checks that I should have gone through at the age of 20. Not that I am proud of, definitely. 

But I can do this. Like everyone else who's already out in the battlefield, I'll be able to cope with it. I'll be going for my internship the day after tomorrow, which the thought itself is sending me shivers down to every spine. But no matter how tough it gets, I'd want to be able to cherish this chance and enjoy my final year of degree. 

Considering the odds, I might not be pursuing my masters. So 2018 would most probably be my final year of formal education. Of course, I will not see and end to studying itself because I believe it's a life learning journey. *cringe* 

Okay okay, back on track. Rewind starting from Jan 2017!

I had my short semester earlier this year and truth to be told, I actually enjoyed it. While others were away for their 3 months break and we were there hitting the books in an empty campus, dreaded and full of complaints to the world, it was enjoyable for me. 

No, not the studying part of course, it was the moments I shared with my course mates *cringe again*. Laughing until I cry during every Comm Prac class, cursing at the lecturer during every Techno class, learning how to edit video by watching a 4 minutes Youtube video while eating lunch simply because I have no time, you get the gist of it. It was the little things that mattered. 

Ooh, not to forget the T-talk platform, where I've met many international friends and gained confidence from teaching people hehhe. Of course there's the money that came with it, partly the reason why I worked hours and hours on it, sometimes more than I could chew. But out of all that nonsense, it was a really a great platform where I learnt a great deal from. 

Sem 4 was not just a rollercoaster ride, it was one that went berserk. It also was the most eventful semester that I have had so far. There was the "pao cha" (explode, not brew tea) incident during my first visit to Pavilion, some very special moments for myself (cough, come to that later, cough), NASA Hackathon where we stayed up stressing while partying like mad to finish the mockup, going to my first ever escape room in Lost in KL, Omaya, surprise birthday celebration by my awesome bunch, doing Facebook marketing for E&I club everyday, having to switch off my phone -> take out the battery -> put it back and turn it on everyday for my Samsung Note 4, some terrible friendship issues, extremely stressful finals, having high fever on the first day of finals and being sick throughout the exam and to finish it off, a fun, spontaneous, unforgettable trip to Cameron with Scarlett, Ed, Nickson and JQ. All while maintaining my CGPA which for the first time in a while, instilled some confidence and a great sense of accomplishment in myself. 

Well at least those are what I recalled without going through my photo album. That semester was basically the highlight of the whole year. Maybe it would turn out to be the highlight of my whole degree too heheh. I really really enjoyed it and words can't describe how much I appreciate those bunch. <3 

Onto sem 5! I spent most of the time earlier this semester to apply for internship, went for countless interviews and got dejected for either an unsatisfied location or payment time after time. Having gone through all those interviews, I suddenly felt like my whole body mechanism had slowed down, as though I suddenly aged. I can't really pen down how and why have I not been able to keep the optimum state of mind, but you could sorta grasp the idea right? Welp, looks like someone is aging fast. And finally after all the hocus-pocus, I managed to get an internship opportunity at a place I am quite fond of, and seeing as everyone gets to join the companies they like made me happier and proud of them. 

There's food truck now at D'Latour every Tuesday night. Not to mention yet another unforgettable Johor Trip with the Esports Club members where we all bonded together, had an interview at the hotel and spent some alone time at a nearby Japanese cafe where I actually tried to revised for DAD and encountered a cute family there. Oooh and Ah boys to men movie with Scarlett only. The last time I had a movie with Scarlett alone was Train to Busan, which I couldn't quite recall whether it was in sem 4 or 5. But I crack up everytime I think of it because of how hard I cried at the cinema and how embarassed Scarlett felt when everybody was staring at us 😂 

The second half of sem 5 is all about juggling between being the PALs tutor for OOP between tests, assignments after another assignment and poof, finals. For the first time in quite a well, I screwed up a paper in finals. So hard that I cried and felt so helpless. Seriously, without Scarlett and Ed smacking some sense into me, I don't know whether I'd be able to bounce back and sit for the rest of my paper with the "right" state of mind. I got my parents worried so much so they came up and gave me a cake and some yummy ro mai kai and fu chuk. It actually still frightens me when I think of seeing my results for this sem, but for now, I rest my case.

Wookayyyy, negative thoughts begone!

Ohh yea, it was also my first time being secret Santa and celebrating Christmas with bbq and soju and sparkling rose Somersby at Jordan's place. Yayyyy~

I guess that's sorta the summary for the things that happened this year. Reading back my blogpost from last year, I seemed to be feeling inferior about my outer appearance. Although that still is the case, but in comparison to how I felt last year, I have a more neutral approach on this matter now. I can't change the society's perspective about beauty standards, as a matter of fact, I can't even find the reason why I feel the need to educate people on how to think the way I do about inner beauty, I'll just continue being myself. It isn't a retreat from the reality, it is acceptance, and somewhat a compliance to it, but now, with a positive tone to it. 

My concerns for now would be whether I would be able to perform well during internship and also for my final year. I hope by the end of next year, I could give myself a tap of shoulder and reassurance saying I did my best, no matter the results. 

Now, is it time to check off my to do list for the year? Hahahhaha

Alright so this was the list of goals for the year:

Okay let's see one by one now. 

Getting the body I want. Sadly, no. I even gained an extra 2-3kg compared to last year. Reason? Simple. I didn't hit the gym + I didn't care about my calories as much before. Come to think of it, now when I feel like having chocolate cake, I'll eat it. With the guilt yes, but I would still eat it, and regret it later. Like I only live the uni student life once, if I don't eat now, when would I be able to eat so carefree later on?

Getting the results I want. I guess this would be a more generic approach rather than just my academic results. I would say yes, I have gotten the results that I wanted thus far and I'm very happy with it. 

Earn and save at least 5k. Earlier this year I've earned 1K++ for T-talk and around rm300(?) for being a Pals tutor this year. Not even near to what I've aimed but hey, I put it effort to it and I'm proud of myself hehhe 

Learn Korean, I really wanted to through the kpop club in Taylor's but the called off the class so... *excuses* and I even signed up to sit for JLPT N2, but I bailed out. Out of selfish reasons that I can't remember, was it because I wasn't prepared well enough or that I had uni tests 2 days after that I can't remember. But I kinda wanna punch myself for this. TT 

Learn web/app development. Check! I've been learning iOS dev during the end of sem 4 because I thought of applying to be an iOS developer but after being notified that I'll be developing Android apps instead, I'm now learning Android development. Since Java is the programming language that I am most familiar with for now, this sits well with me~ 

Utilize free time. Uhh. I guess, yea? Maybe? Whenever I'm free I'd go out, or do some stuffs that I enjoy. I did cut down quite a lot of time on Youtube. But I spent too much time on FB, lol. 

Be happy! I'm glad I'm still able to find the good in most of the things that happened which kept me from feeling down all the time. To that, I say kudos to myself!

Okay, I did mention about something in my wishlist. I kind of laughed when I read what I've written last year. I'm so happy that I now have someone who loves and cares for me so very much. I didn't give the whole thing much of a thought because I sort of just have no expectations for it already, and when there was a chance, I brushed it off thinking the possibility is very slim, but now, I'm thinking of forever, a thought that I have once silenced and shut off somewhere deep inside. Okayyy too much info hahaha. 

I just had tang yuan for lunch! Hahahha. We didn't get to eat earlier during Winter Solstice but better late than never~

Another happy note would be that my dad finally got his long awaited break from work for all these while and being able to go around places he and mummy have been wanting to go for quite some time already. Seeing him being able to relax is truly so therapeutic for me, I don't know why hahahh. It just puts my mind at ease as we are the ones who always get to relax, not him. So when it's finally his turn, you can't help but feel happy too. :D 

Also, a few of my cousins are getting married next year! Aside from the yummy dishes, I can't wait to see them in a wedding dress and a suit xD

I guess it's time for me to set a new set of to do list for next year? Hehhe

1) Lose weight, get back to 46~47kg

2) Do my best in everything I do 

3) Give all the money from my first salary to parents/ nice meal 

4) Learn to cook/ bake 

5) Learn to drive

6) Get to know more about properties stuff

This time, I'm not losing weight because of fat shaming or whatsoever. Thanks to my loving friends from Taylor's, they made sure I ate well. I want to lose weight, this time, for myself because I feel more confident being around that weight hahaha. 

I hope that I would be able to try and give my best shot in everything I do, so that I won't have any regrets when I look back.

My family has raised me up well for all these years. With my first ever salary, I'd like to give all of it to my parents. If they refuse, I'll make sure to buy them a nice meal with that money. Nothing much but a token of appreciation for all the hardships they had gone through to raise up this naughty rebel. 

Learn to cook/bake. I enjoy cooking during sem 2 and sem 3, I'd love to explore and learn more so that I'm able to cook yummy stuffs for my loved ones one day. <3 

Yes, I have a driving license. But it's just sitting there accumulating dust as I rarely have the chance to practise driving. Driving to me is still kind of scary, but I'll have to learn some day, and I hope it'd be next year that I'll at least be able to drive myself around town. 

Since I'll be graduating quite soon and would most probably be working around KL after that, in addition that next year would be the predicted best time to purchase a property, I'd want to know more about property acquisition and look out for units. 

Now onto my wish list <3

Hopefully, I'll be able to go on trips, one local, one international (maybe?) trip to anywhere with friends and family. I found myself wanting to travel especially this year. I yearn to be able to go out and see the world, something new because travelling has always been something rather plain for me in the past. Now, when someone mentions a trip, I get fired up ahhahahha. Also on my wishlist, I hope I'll be able to continue on my journey with him no matter the odds. <3 

I'll be turning 21, unofficially but yea publicly referred to as 21 within a few hours. This number seemed so, so far fetched for me just a while ago. Time and tide waits for no man. But aren't you a lil too rushed? 

Note to self:

I can do it. Dream it, believe it, fight for it!

Here's to wishing everyone a prosperous and a fun-filled journey in the coming year. Let bygones be bygones, look ahead and brave for what's to come. May good health and luck shower you and your loved ones in 2018, and many many years to come. I'll be having dinner with my family and E jie's family at Kensington Seremban later. How would I spend it next year this time round? 

2017 is rather eventful and exciting. I enjoy it very much. 

Now, how would 2018 be? 

xoxo