Diary Entry for 2019
12/31/2019 01:35:00 AMIt's 11.30am now. I'm sitting in front of my laptop in my rented room. A beautiful sunny day, not too warm (yet). I left 2 of my windows opened, the sounds from the construction not too far away slightly breaking the tranquility of this Tuesday.
It's a working weekday for some. I took my leave today, looking forward to spend my first New Year's eve out of PD. Well in the end there isn't really a concrete plan today. I woke up rather early today for no apparent reason. I was reading The Unicorn Project while listening to some music. Halfway through reading it, it suddenly struck me that it's the last day of the year today - time to uphold the ritual - I was scrambling to find this blog URL, rewinding what a year 2019 has been for me.
Let's start off with the highlights of the year, shall we?
- First family trip with Teddy back to Kuantan 🚙
- Officially a working adult now! 👩🏻💻
- I finally took off my damn braces!!! 😬
- I don't really feel my lower back pain anymore 😱
- Went clubbing?! 😏
- Reunion with high school girls 👯♀️
- My brother and I had our convos! 🎓
- I brought my family to a 8D 7N trip to Japan!!! Gahhh!! 🇯🇵
2019. I am officially a member of the workforce, but thankfully not a part of the rat race (yet?) as I don't have loans tying me down. After taking some long deserved time off for myself and the Kuantan trip, I joined my job on the 1st of March. Recalling now, it was a Friday, I couldn't ask for a better weekday to start off my career. 2019 in work life was about adapting to the new team structure, not so new role but new focus areas, and of course, all about the fun that I enjoyed bonding with my colleagues.
I've grown to be more attached to particularly a few colleagues, they recipocrate (just that they are not into obsessive hugs like I do), and I am extremely grateful for this relationship.
Not too long after I joined, we had our team activity - a cook off with our members and bosses. Embarrassing to admit, our team did a great job and won the competition with our Kimchi fried rice cooked by yours truly, a heart shape cutely decorated with sesame seeds and egg rolls at the side with seaweed strips in the middle. Yay! 😋
Earlier in that morning, I suddenly had cravings for cheesecake and I absent-mindedly blurted it out, loud enough for one of my colleagues to hear it. Which is why they didn't get me a chocolate cake despite knowing how much I love chocolates.
They all knew that I was a big fan of Rilakkuma, so they got me a big one. There is actually a cute and soft blanket stuffed in it and omgggg, it's sooo cute!!
On the actual day of my birthday, Teddy and I went for a free trial cooking class together! We had so much fun baking. A few weeks later, we also learnt more baking recipes from a friend of mine. Look at these yummy breads!
Over the course of a few months this year, I was shocked to know that a few colleagues that were rather close to me have chosen to part ways, each going on a new exciting journey. While separation is inevitable, I hoped that they are now enjoying what they're doing and I wish them the very best in their endeavours. ✨
Functional job wise, it was frustrating to not be able to work on the things you want to do. Thankfully again, I have a very understanding team lead that gave me opportunities to be able to venture into doing the things I want. Even though the past few months were not enjoyable for me having non-stop fire fights, ongoing discussions with no results, etc, I'd like to think these as experiences that shape me as a better person.
I do hope that things would turn out for the better in the coming months, and I would of course strive hard to achieve this.
Functional job aside, I am a part of the Innovation pillar and KOM committee team which I enjoyed and have learnt a great deal from.
Just a few months ago, a few of us went on a trip to Ipoh to attend our colleague's wedding, it was also the first wedding that Teddy and I attended together. 🙈 Needless to say, we ate like pigs and honestly, casual road trips are just the best.
Funny thing that happened was that my high school bestie is now interning in the same company with me, sitting just a few steps away. Also not too long ago, we had a Karaoke session together with our colleagues. I sang my lungs out to Disney songs, Pokemon theme song and "Never enough" from Greatest Showman. My throat was miraculously okay the next day, fun times.
On June 15, I finally, FINALLY took of my braces, after 6 years!!!! All these years I've endured the pain after each tightening, the screws that were in my gums, the ulcers I had all over because of the metal poking here and there, the trouble having to deal with food stuck in the braces after every meal.. Finally.
I've been told by some that I would miss my braces. Hah. HELL NAW.
I didn't cry when it was taken off. It felt funny smiling for the first time without braces, and I honestly couldn't recognize myself in the mirror without the braces. My own mom was not used to it!!
I had chao kuey teow for the first meal post taking off my braces at the very same place and the exact same dish where I had my first meal after putting on the braces 6 years ago.
"How do you feel?"
Alive.
For the longest time, I've lived with this intense pain in my lower back.
During high school, after a long day at school, tuition and finishing my homework in the wee hours, the moment that scared me the most at one point in time, was to lie down on the bed.
It was pain that I could not pen down in words. Burning might be the closest word to describe it. My lower back burns, burning without the heat, but with amplified pain. It drove me to tears every night. There and then I thought it was normal because I was told so.
Over time, I no longer have that burning pain at night, but I would still feel pain in my lower back everyday - be it standing, walking, sitting, sleeping, running... I honestly thought that everyone had the same issue, that it was normal for the lower back to hurt because no one every brought up this topic of lower back pain. Given as we were all still in high school, the topic of lower back pain is something only the elderlies would exchange, I guess.
Fast forward to this year, while strolling around and exploring Kota damansara, we came across a chiropractic clinic. I was scared. I remembered how those people who do special insoles for people with flat feet said how terrible my feet and back bone condition were. They would exaggerate how I may end up not being able to walk, push unreasonably priced products to my parents and burden them with a guilt that my parents thought they owed me for not being able to give birth to a healthy baby girl with no back problems and normal feet.
Screw them.
Teddy encouraged me to just have a second opinion, this time from an expert. I hesitated, but decided to give it a shot.
I have lived with this pain for all my life, not knowing what painless feels like.
After a few months and countless sessions, I don't feel the pain as much now?..
My chiropractor thinks that my recovery speed is abnormally fast for someone who had been experiencing this pain for so many years. I told him about how I joined yoga classes and he thinks that it might've helped with my recovery.
I'm so lucky to not feel much pain on my lower back now. 💕
Although I couldn't fulfill my wish to go to club at least once during uni, I've been to one before my convo. Does that count?
It all started with an invite from my colleague. Me eagerly wanting to try it out, I immediately agreed. The music was great, the place wasn't as smokey and bizarre as I thought it would be. As in, the guys kept their distance and respected you while attempting to approach you.
I enjoyed dancing and singing my lungs out. Me having this dual personality, if it wasn't for my colleagues (and the miserable looking Teddy at the back) calling it a night, I would party till the DJ calls it quit. We would had dim sum at 4am, reach home at 6am. Youth at its peak?
Ohh and have I told you how I smuggled my innocent friends from high school into clubbing?
I guess as parents, the most reassuring thing is to see your babies grow up well and successfully graduate from Uni. In that sense, both me and my brother did our parents proud, we both had our convos this year, in fact just 2 weeks apart.
Maybe also something reassuring as parents is to have your children bringing you to a family trip. Our last trip together was 6 years ago to Bangkok. That day, while sitting in front of my laptop, staring at the plane tickets that was on promotion, I inserted all the guest details, close my eyes, and proceeded to payment. After I came to my senses, I then told my family that we'll be heading to Tokyo in November.
Easily the best thing that I've done in my life.
All 4 of us have completely different personalities, I find it really challenging for me to plan the whole trip myself taking into consideration the different interests each of us had.
During the trip, we argued with each other, we were tired of walking when we took the wrong turns, but I was glad for making the trip happen. It was rewarding in a sense that I could finally do something in return to how much my family has sacrificed for me.
At that moment, I was proud of myself for being able to bring them for a trip. Although I could not sponsor them yet (rmb I'm just a fresh grad), I'll work hard to bring them around to more places.
I might write a separate blogpost on my 8D 7N Tokyo trip in another blogpost. That'll be a very long one. 😂
Onto some low lights for the year..
- GoT ending sucks!!
- Got into car accidents..
- Room renting horror stories
Well the first one is just for me to rant. I refuse to acknowledge the ending that was given to this masterpiece. Game of Thrones was truly one of a kind, with unrivalled plot twists that makes you thirst for more. Yet, I was greeted with utter disappointment. There are alternate endings on Youtube that I'd much rather believe to be the ending befitting as a closure to this holistic art. Okay that's enough of rants.
I got knocked into by a car on a highway, thankfully it wasn't that serious and no one was hurt. I scratched my car a few times and even rammed the back against a protruding wall.
All these made me ever more scared to drive, but sometimes, I guess it's after all these experiences that you'd grow and learn to be better.
I am still trying to get the hang of driving, I'm far from being a steady driver yet, but I'm taking these baby steps at my own pace.
I've spent first 6 working months staying in a middle room, with a bed, wardrobe and mirror. Good enough for me.
Long story short, the house owner and I don't really get along well with each other. I'd be scolded for bringing my own cooking wares, I can't have a table to my own in my own room, reprimanded for not washing the toilet when I cleaned it every 3 days, mocked for cooking my own lunch to office..
The very sound of the door lock still haunts me. "She's back." I'd freeze in whatever I was doing, and braced myself for whatever was to come.
Scarred.
I moved out. In this new room where I'm typing this blog post now, I have a huge window, a table of my own, bigger wardrobe and my own toilet.
My housemates are friendly, the room size is big, albeit the rental price, I really am grateful with what I have now.
But somehow.. I just am not strong enough.
To think that the kitchen condition is the sole reason that's testing my sanity now.
I enjoy cooking, it helps me relieve stress when I'm back from a long day at work. Hungry and tired, I just want to whip up something quick and simple to fill up my tummy.
I'm greeted with cockroaches, rubbish that were left for centuries, plates that were used unwashed, pots with leftover foods with hundreds of flying things crawling out.
I steeled myself, cleaned everything. The first time, then the second and the third.
It came to a point where I'd much rather starve myself than to see cockroaches halfway through while cooking.
Am I just not strong and independent enough? Am I just too pampered? Am I asking too much?
I now come to realize the importance of having a comfortable place to stay. It does not need to be new and fancy, it just needs to be.. comfortable.
These two room renting experiences drained me so, so much, Until today, I feel mentally exhausted and I could not explain why.
But thinking back all the good things that happened this year, 2019 is really not as bad as I thought. I had tonnes of fun.
Fact check time.
Here's what I wanted to achieve this year, let's see what I've accomplished.
1) Exercise twice a week
I have indeed been exercising twice a week most of the time. Although not badminton, my Mondays are replaced with Zumba sessions for cardio, and Powerflow mat yoga on Wednesdays. Honestly, yoga is still a dread to me because I really am not flexible at all and it's still so painful for me. Welp, whatever that helps me build a stronger core and improve my lower back pain!
2) Eat healthy
I did manage to cook to office instead of eating out. A few colleagues have also been cooking to office so I am not alone. Hope I'll keep up the momentum next year!
3) Self-care
Apply sunblock everyday? Checked. Getting enough rest and sleep? Errrr, checked?
Apply masks twice a week? I think checked too?
4) Save money
Although I do not strictly allocate myself to a certain amount for daily expenses, I've tried not to splurge. I think I've reduced the frequency of me splurging as compared to last year. That's a good start?
5) Travel overseas twice
Although I did not get to travel twice, I visited the place which I wanted to visit most, so that's alright. ❤️
6) Find a new hobby
Instead of finding a new one, I was reminded how much I loved reading when I was young. So yes, apart from binge watching cooking videos on Youtube and occasionally movies and dramas, I read. I hope I'll continue to read more books in the future.
7) Find a side job
Wanting to first evaluate whether my workload would be too overwhelming for me to take up a side job, I've thought this through many times, and I decided to follow my heart. I might be starting my side job early next year. I won't say what it is here, in case it doesn't come to fruition next year. 😝
8) Be happy
Now onto the inevitable segment, New Year's resolution!
1) Spend more quality time with the people I love and myself
2) Pursue my interest at work and willingly go for the extra mile
3) Learn and experiment at least 30 new dishes
4) Read at least 20 books
5) Bring family for a trip
6) Keep up the momentum: Exercise 2-3 times a week, eat healthily, self-care
7) Be stronger mentally and physically + Be happy
Regardless whether it's my current job or the future side job that I'll be committing myself into, I hope that I'll be doing what I like in my job. I would voice out my thoughts on my current tasks and find a balance so that I could enjoy doing what I really like in my 9 to 5. With interest comes with the drive to strive harder in what I'm doing.
I love cooking. I find myself watching hundreds of cooking videos on Youtube, yet I still see myself buying more or less the same ingredients everytime I go for grocery shopping. Spice things up a little, try something new. Let's see how experimental I am next year.
Reigniting my "old" hobby, I'll need to read at least 20 books of any genre the coming year.
As I already have plans to travel overseas next year, my goal to travel 2 countries next year is more or less guaranteed. I'll be travelling with Teddy and with colleagues. Looking forward to those trips with them. I also hope I could also have a trip or short getaway with my family. I really like how much we bonded over our last trip to Japan.
Continuing my goals from this year, let's try to make exercising, healthy eating and self-care a standard thing to do. So yes, exercising frequently weekly, cooking to office, and general skin care should be a must. I am interested to learning swimming, considering my schedule, I did not put it under my new year's resolution, but it would be a bonus if I could learn how to swim!
Last but not least, physically stronger would mean that I need to build up more muscles. Though I am still keen on cutting fats here and there, I now think it is also equally important to build muscles to burn fats.
I had quite a lot of emotional outbursts in 2019 compared to previous years, while I'd still want myself to express my feelings, I hope that I would not breakdown over trivial things so easily. Happiness comes with a healthy mind. I'll be grateful with what I have, be the change that I want to see, and continue to seek out for more adventures.
I will be heading to desa park city for New Year's countdown shortly. Let's see what I'll be up to this time of the year in the next decade.
Edit: Teddy and I had Washoku as our last meal of the decade (yums), then head on to Desa park city for more snacks. First meal of the decade is some salted egg fried snacks also at Desa park, and Hotpot Kitchen for brunch when we woke up from slumber 😂
Here's to a great new year filled with joy, prosperity, and good health! ❤️
Happy 2020!
xoxo
1 comments
Thought your new year's resolution was going to be about writing more. :3
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