Image source: http://www.baltana.com/holidays/new-year-2017-desktop-wallpaper-11989.html

It's the time of the year to post a mandatory blog post again. Hahahha.

Whether you're my friend or you're a stranger who somehow stumbled upon this blogpost, I'm not sure whether you'll be interested in reading a story of how a teenage girl got through the year of 2016 and what it meant for her. I actually don't think it's all that interesting. But if you have a minute or two to spare, are you interested in knowing my story? <3

In my last blogpost for 2015, I seemed to be still quite lost and had a very vague idea of how my future is gonna be like. I also had some friendship issues that made me felt quite down for some time.

The most significant thing that happened in 2016 was coming to Taylor's to pursue my degree. Like all movies, stories and novels that you've read, as cliché as it sounds, everything changed, and to my relief, my life changed for the better.

I'm happy to say that I'm now not as lost as I was back in 2015. I have a direction in life now. Well actually, not exactly. I still don't know what to do after I graduate. Heck I don't even know what am I going to do during my internship. But I've decided to set goals along the way and strive to achieve them. That's my direction at the moment.

These days my dad told me that I've changed too. He said that I had somehow became more mature and wiser based on my attitude and the way I talk. Of course, I myself couldn't really tell. But one thing's for sure is that I've gained confidence, mentally. I know that hard work pays off. So when I have a clear goal, all I need to do is to grind myself there.

However, I'd like to learn to do things the smart way too. I've been studying hard and working out hard. There might be better ways for me to achieve all these in a shorter amount of time so that I can fully utilise my time in a day.

Sadly till date, I'm still quite insecure about my outer appearance.

Yes, I've lost weight. But even after losing weight, I'm so afraid that I might gain weight again. I thought I managed to convince myself that what people say to me doesn't matter. I really thought that I could just shrug it off and move on. But everyone has a fatal flaw, and mine just so happen to be my insecurities towards my physiques.

And negative comments on my outer appearance are like dealing the final blow to me.

"Everyone is beautiful in their on way." I believe in this statement. Correction, believed would be a better word.

This statement is utter nonsense in today's society. If you're pretty, you win in life. That's just how it is. No one can do anything about it.

The fact that 9/10 girls at Taylor's are gorgeous makes me wanna wear a mask everyday to uni. Strangely, I like looking at pretty girls. I would follow them on social media, like their photos, etc.
It is when I'm occasionally reminded about something that makes me so insecure. And that something is that no matter how good of a person you are -- how friendly, how kind, how genuine -- you'd always lose to those that are better looking than you.

That's human nature, a sealed fact. I'm not asking for the world to change their perception, nor am I fishing for compliments, I'm just sharing what makes me so insecure, as I've said countless times before, this blog is like my diary.

Hmm.. I guess I'm still far from being mature. I'm still as weak as ever. *sighs*

One day.. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to love myself more.


So how was 2016 to me in a nutshell?

I enjoyed it far more than 2015. When I'm feeling stressful because of my studies at uni, I'll just remind myself of how it was like back when I was taking SACE, and find myself not stressful anymore.